Kiku's Journal
by xxkunoichi159xx
Summary: A GermanyXJapan fan fiction seen through Kiku's perspective. They are secretly lovers, but Kiku is sure that Ludwig is also having secret relations with Italy. Just so you know, this is /NOT/ a GermanyXItaly fan fiction.
1. May 31st

As I type this, I am unsure of what to say exactly. I am on my laptop as I lie beside Ludwig-san in an almost too small bed. He looks peaceful, but I still cannot sleep. We have done things that I rather regret, but things that I am certain will make us closer.

Or at least, I am hoping this is true.

I know that we could never truly have anything special... however, I can't help but feel attached to him. I can't help but want him.

I sigh a little to myself in slight frustration as I look back over at the German man beside me.

I do not think that I can say I love him, but if I don't love him, why do I feel like this?

Why do I force myself to choke back tears every time I see Feliciano-kun jumping all over him?

Why does my heart race faster with every small touch, every lovely smile?

And why would I do anything for him, no matter what the price I must pay?

I am unsure of myself... and I am unsure of his intentions... but for tonight, I want to lie in his arms. I want him to touch me and whisper to me.

I want to feel like I'm loved.

Even if I know that when morning comes, he won't be here. I don't care. Because as long as I have him, just for tonight, I can feel as though I have a chance of maybe capturing his heart in the same way that Feliciano-kun has.

It's one in the morning on the thirty first of May. The last day of the month. And I'm looking at my lover sleeping soundly beside me.

But I don't love him.

At least, not yet.


	2. May 31st That Afternoon

I can't help but look at him while he's yelling at Feliciano-kun.

Just as I had thought, he pretended nothing had happened last night.

It's always the same. It has been this way since we started our secret relationship so long ago.

It's true, there's no way that he could ever care about me, but am I really nothing more than his play toy?

Do I really mean nothing to him?

As I look at them together, I feel alone. I have to choke back my tears when I see Ludwig-san look over at Feliciano-kun with the same eyes he gives me. The beautiful blue reflecting the smaller man's smiling, innocent face.

Feliciano-kun doesn't know anything. He's unaware that he and I are sharing a lover.

And he's unaware that every time I see him, I hate him more.

My jealousy is overwhelming. It's pointless and irritating.

I promised myself that I would never fall in love with anyone, and I'm still trying to stick to this promise, although it's getting harder and harder each night.

He makes me angry.

He makes me cry.

He makes me want to slap him.

And yet I can't help but want him more.

But I digress...

I'm not sure why he's yelling at Feliciano-kun. Probably for some stupid reason. Maybe he's running too slowly again.

I'm sitting here on a small boulder jutting out from the soft, grassy earth, watching the two European men as they carry on.

Feliciano-kun has asked me to join them as they play on the soft sand of the beach nearby, but I have declined. I do not wish to be in their way. I do not wish to be the "third wheel" again, as the phrase goes.

I find their customs rather strange and I'm unsure that I could ever truly understand them. And this is why I am letting them go.

I can't hold Ludwig-san back any longer.

And yet tonight, I know what will happen.

I will be taken in his loving arms. His blue eyes will capture me. And I'll be his for another night. Even if I try to escape him.

He has become nothing less than my world and I occupy my time thinking of ways to leave him, but it's useless.

I watch them walk off together, holding hands and smiling as they make their way to the beach. And I wonder if Ludwig-san will ever hold my hand like that. But for now, these nightly rituals are all I have. And I will hold them preciously and hope that maybe someday, Ludwig-san will want to hold my hand and smile at me the same way he does with Feliciano-kun.

My life is like an echo. A lost voice traveling into the unknown distance. I feel weightless, but it's not a pleasant sensation. I feel sick as their figures pass the trees and I can no longer see them.

I know that on that beach, Ludwig-san will make love to Feliciano-kun. And I know that I'll cry thinking about it. My eyes are already watering.

But if this is what he wants, then so be it.

I wish for nothing more than to see Ludwig-san happy.


	3. June 1st

"Ich liebe dich." He had whispered to me. His voice was raspy as he lie beside me, spent from another night of rough motions. I almost cried when he said this, but the tears would not have been happy ones.

That liar was trying to trick me.

He already had me wrapped around his finger, but now he was planning something else.

I wondered how many times he had uttered the same words to Feliciano-kun.

He looked at me as though expecting me to reply. As though hoping I would say it back. Was that what he wanted? Did he want to know that he had finally taken complete control of me?

Well, I did not comply to his wishes. I didn't return the words. Instead I turned away from him, lying on my side instead of my back. I couldn't look at him. Tears had already started to squeeze their way out of my eyes.

"What's wrong?" He whispered as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, "Why won't you look at me, liebe?" One of his hands rested against my chest and the other against my stomach.

'I hate you.' I thought to myself. I wanted to say it. Truly, I did

'I hate you.' I thought again. But that time, It didn't feel like I meant it.

'I hate you.' Another thought, but by now, I was sure this wasn't how I was really feeling.

I choked back a few more tears as I pushed him away. He seemed shocked and I heard him gasp.

"Kiku?" He whispered as he leaned over me and brushed some hair from my face, "Why are you crying?"

I pushed him away again as I stood up, almost jumping up, from the bed. I still didn't respond, my throat tight from holding back sobs. I searched around for my clothes and threw them on sloppily. He watched me as I flung my jacket on and ran for the bedroom door. Before I knew it, his hand was gripping my wrist firmly.

"You can't leave, Kiku." He said almost monotone. His deep voice resounded in my ears and I thought I would pass out. I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp, but he was too strong.

"P-please..." I managed to choke, "Please let me go..." I was whimpering from the pain shooting through my right wrist, the one that he was holding too tightly.

I refused to look at him.

"No. Please stay..." For a moment, I thought I had heard his voice shake. I looked back at him, his eyes held sorrow and I stared at him for a moment.

"I can't stay." I said flatly, the tears streaking my face had already begun to dry up as I tried to keep myself under control. I pulled my wrist from his hand, almost easily, as though he weren't even /trying/ to hold me back anymore. And I left. I walked out of his room, breathing heavily and grumbling something under my breath.

I stormed out of his house and into the darkness of the unforgiving night. The stars stared at me and the moon didn't seem to smile like it usually does. I could hardly tell where I was most of the time, but I didn't care.

I just wanted to get away from him.

I wanted to be far enough away for him to never see me again.

But I wanted him to be there with me.

I wasn't making any sense at all. This is what Ludwig-san did to me.

He confused me, made me angry. And he made me storm out in the middle of the night, wishing that he hadn't been so sweet to me.

When I arrived at home, I almost immediately regretted what I had done.

He called me numerous times, leaving messages that I didn't hear. I sat on my bed, my eyes closed. When I lied down, I finally realized that I had taken the wrong shirt.

I was lying on my bed wearing his shirt... Ludwig's shirt... I wanted to take it off and fling it across the room, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Even when I had taken off my pants and was only wearing my boxers and his oversized shirt, I couldn't take it off.

My fingers would get to the buttons, but they wouldn't undo them. I could put my hands at the bottom of the shirt, in the perfect position to fling if off, but I couldn't go any further.

I sighed and rested my head on the pillow, thoughts of him swirling in my head.

The phone has rung thirty seven times since I got home about an hour ago. And each time it has been Ludwig-san. He has left message after message on my answering machine, but I've ignored them all.

I refused to admit to him that I was in love with him. And I refused to let him know that when I saw him with Feliciano, I wanted to disappear and give up my existence so that I may not have to deal with this pain.

The phone rings again and I ignore his deep, sad voice.


	4. June 2nd

The phone calls have stopped and I'm happy about this.

I feel like I'm hardly alive.

I was up most of the night trying to avoid him. He never actually bothered showing up at my doorstep, so I know that he doesn't care as much as he pretended he had.

I'm supposed to see he and Italy again today, however, I'm sure that I won't. For now I wish to avoid them, especially Ludwig-san.

I'm occasionally looking up at the screen of the television as I type this on my laptop. They're saying something about Germany... his country... and I can't help but frown and want to change the station.

But I can't do it.

Something won't let me give him up completely.

Damn it, I hate him. I hate him so much.

The phone is ringing again, the 43rd time since I woke up. I've deleted message after message from my answering machine, and always he leaves more. I'm starting to wonder if he actually slept last night. Because I know that I did.

I cried until I hyperventilated a little and passed out, falling into an almost coma like sleep, dreaming of him on repeat.

Everything around me reminds me of him and it's staring to bother me even more than it did before.

There's a picture of Feliciano-kun, Ludwig-san, and I. Feliciano-kun is hugging us both, standing in between us. Ludwig-san is looking at Feliciano-kun (or perhaps me) and I'm smiling at the camera.

I can't help but think that this symbolizes that Feliciano-kun is what is standing between us. Because it is quite obvious that he likes Feliciano-kun as more than simply a friend.

I feel jealous when I see them together, even though I don't want to.

I'm going to lay that picture down rather than have it standing up, looking at me. It might make me forget at least a little. I don't want to see it. I can't look at him right now.

Hopefully I'll get over this soon, because I don't know how long I'll be able to avoid him.


	5. June 9th

It's been a few days, but I'm still confused. Ludwig and I haven't been spending nights together and I've hardly even seen him.

I've been avoiding him. And since I've been avoiding him, he has been asking me /why/ I've been avoiding him. That's why I don't want to see him. I don't want to explain to him that I can't look at him without hurting. I don't want him to know that I want more than just the nights that we spend together. I don't want him to know that he's killing me by playing with me like this.

And now that I see him with his sad eyes and his lonely face, looking at me like he can't live without me, I'm starting to believe that maybe he really does have feelings for me...

But I know he's only doing it to get me back for his own pleasure.

I've been swearing under my breath a lot lately, especially when I see him walking towards me. My entire life depends on him right now, and I'm getting scared. I don't know what to do without him in my life, but I know that I don't want him to be in it anymore.

As long as he loves Feliciano-kun, I will not be able to even look at him.

Today was one of the days that I saw him. He was talking with Alfred-san.

I had invited Alfred-san to come visit me, I needed somebody to talk to and he had been a very good friend to me since sometime after the second world war.

What I couldn't tell Ludwig-san, I told him.

When I saw that Ludwig-san was with him, my heart ached. Just looking at him now makes me feel pitiful... it makes me feel sick. I considered going back into my house before they saw me, just to pretend I wasn't home, but they both looked directly at me before I got the chance.

"Hey! Kiku!" Alfred-san called with an exaggerated wave. I smiled a little at him, I hadn't yet told him what was going on between Ludwig-san and I, so he hadn't thought twice about letting Ludwig-san come along.

"H-hello, Alfred-san." I smiled at him weakly. Ludwig was standing beside him, looking at me with unblinking eyes. I didn't say hello to him. Our eyes locked and I stared at him for a moment.

"Hey, Kiku? You alright?" Alfred-san asked as he waved his hand in front of my face. I snapped out of it and stopped staring at Ludwig-san in order to reply.

"Y-yeah... I-I'm fine." I smiled again. I hoped it looked convincing, but I don't think it did. Alfred-san frowned.

"What's wrong, Kiku?" He questioned with a concerned voice.

I shook my head, "Nothing. I'm fine." I lied through another smile.

Ludwig-san looked at me sadly again and I tried to look away. Alfred wrapped his arms around me from behind, kissing the top of my head.

"Are you sure you're fine, Kiku?" He smiled as he rested his head down on my shoulder. He could probably feel me shaking.

I looked at Ludwig-san again and saw his surprise, probably about how Alfred-san was acting... and I wasn't stopping him.

I looked back to Alfred-san.

"I'm sure I'm fine~!" I lied and giggled a little, patting his head.

I led them inside, making sure to avoid most eye contact with Ludwig-san, but every time I looked over at him, he was watching me with those sad, pathetic, blue eyes.

As the evening progressed, Ludwig-san had stayed mostly silent. I spoke to him only when I had to. When he left to go to the bathroom, Alfred-san looked at me with a very serious face and asked me what was wrong with Ludwig-san and I.

"He keeps looking at you." Alfred stated, "Normally you two talk to each other a lot, right? Then why aren't ya speaking to each other?" His voice was not only serious, but also very concerned.

I shook my head as though that could be an answer, "Everything is fine." I lied, "W-we just d-don't have anything to discuss..." I stutter when I'm nervous, and it managed to slip through a couple of times while I spoke to Alfred-san. He immediately knew that I was lying when my stuttering began. He knew me well enough to know that this was nothing more than a lie.

"No. There's something wrong." He said, leaning back in the chair a little as he stared directly at me, "What happened?" He asked. He was only trying to help, but I wish I had realized this at the time. Instead I immediately got angry with him and slammed my fist down on the coffee table between us.

"There is nothing wrong!" I practically yelled just as Ludwig-san entered the room.

He looked at me in shock for a moment before walking out of my house, slamming the door shut. I wasn't sure if he was angry or hurt.

I hadn't seen his expression.

Alfred-san stared at the door for a second, as though he was waiting for Ludwig to come back. Then he looked at me again, "Really Kiku, you've gotta tell me what's going on..."

In that moment I should have told him everything.

I should have told him about how I was falling in love with Ludwig-san and how I was upset because I knew that he could never love me back.

I should have mentioned how I had left Ludwig-san's house that one night and how he had called me almost nonstop since then.

Somebody was finally willing to listen to me, and do you know what I did?

I pointed at the door and I asked him to leave.


	6. June 13th

As I type this the song "Show Me Love" by t.A.T.u is playing on my laptop. It's oddly fitting... The first verse is my favorite.

/This was an accident, not the kind where sirens sound. Never even noticed we're suddenly crumbling. Tell me how you've never felt, delicate or innocent. Do you still have doubts that us having faith makes any sense? Tell me nothing ever counts, lashing out or breaking down. Still somebody loses 'cause there's no way to turn around. Staring at your photograph everything now in the past. Never felt so lonely. I Wish that you could show me love./

These lovely words repeat in my ears as I think of... well... you should know who by now.

I haven't even spoken to him since the day he stormed out of my house.

He's probably very mad at me, I know, but I'm not sorry. When I walked out of his house, it was because I couldn't wait for him forever to decide who he wanted to be with. I'm still not sure why he walked out of my house, though.

He has no reason to be upset, does he?

He brought this all upon himself.

Yet, I can't help but feel sorry for him.

I can't help but want to hold him and apologize.

I've been missing those nights that I spent in his arms. What we would do before that, didn't matter as much as the time when we would lie awake together, holding each other and placing small kisses on the others lips or cheeks or eyes. When we did this, I would think that I had truly found love.

But as soon as we departed, I would feel alone again. I would feel insecure and nervous, afraid that maybe tonight would be the night he stopped asking me to come to him. The last night that he would ever come to see me.

I hate that feeling of loneliness.

Of helplessness.

And it was always his fault.

There is something that I keep doing and I really wish I wouldn't do it. I keep looking at the phone hanging on my wall. I keep checking my cellphone. I keep waiting for him to call me again. But his calls never come.

Sometimes I think that perhaps /I/ should call him... but would he answer? I'm not sure.

Damn it.

I guess I'll wait it out for another day... then I'll have to call him. I'll /have/ to.

I want to hear his voice.

I want my phone to ring, telling me that he's calling.

I want to hear him tell me he still cares about me.


	7. June 14th

I'm calling him right now. I want to type while I talk to him to make sure that I get all the words correct.

He hasn't answered yet, but the phone has only rang twice.

I wish he would hurry up and answer... I'm getting more nervous each second...

"Hallo?" There it is. His sweet, deep, voice. I know he has caller ID, so he /knows/ that I'm the one calling. I want to say something, but I can't. "Kiku? Hallo? Are you there?" He's starting to sound a little annoyed.

Come on Kiku.

Answer.

"H-hi Ludwig-san." It was much harder to say that then I though it would be...

"Why are calling?" His voice sounds a little harsh.

He's angry. Just like I knew he would be.

"I-I just wanted to talk to you." My voice is hushed, I have been nervous about this enough already. His tone wasn't making it any better.

"Well, you already had that chance." I hate hearing his voice sound so stern. I'm choking back a few tears. What am I supposed to say in response to that?

Oh no. I can feel the hot tears on my cheeks.

"O-oh..." That's all that I can manage to say right now.

"Was that all you were calling for?" His voice isn't getting any lighter. He still sounds angry.

"Y-yeah..." I'm whispering into the phone now. I know that if I speak any louder, I'll probably break down crying. There's a silence. It doesn't seem to be ending...

He just hung up the phone... he hung up on me... he hung up on me...

I whispered "I'm Sorry." just after the click let me know he wasn't there anymore, "I love you."

I'm trying no to cry... I'm trying so hard...

I can't even see the keyboard anymore... I hope that I'm typing alright still... I think I need to go lie down... perhaps I'll take a nap...

I don't know.

I'm so confused.

If I hate him so much... then why am I so upset?

"I love you" Did I really say that after he hung up?


	8. June 14th That Night

I'm sitting on the floor, my head against the front door, wondering if perhaps this is how it would be from now on.

I feel bad for poor Feliciano-kun. He's so innocent and he doesn't know that Ludwig-san and I aren't seeing each other for these reasons.

But, although he's innocent, he is not stupid. He knows that something is wrong between us.

The fact that Ludwig-san always tells him that I am "Too busy to train" with them has helped Feliciano-kun to realize something is not right. As he said to me on the phone, "You can't /always/ be busy."

A new excuse will have to be made to fool him. However, I'm not sure that he will believe it as easily as he believed the last lie.

While I was talking to Feliciano-kun today, I should have asked him about he and Ludwig-san...

I should have asked him if they were in love.

I should have proven to myself that there's no way that Ludwig-san could ever love me.

And it would have hurt.

But it would have healed faster than thinking that there may have been hope for us.

I want to swear. But I've been doing that too often lately and I'm trying to break this newly found habit.

My neck is sore. I've been in this same position for more than 4 hours thinking. Simply thinking.

Not only of Ludwig-san, but of Feliciano-kun and Alfred-san... what would they do if I were to fulfill this wish of mine?

What would they do if tomorrow they called and I did not answer?

Would they worry?

Or would they simply forget about me?

I'm thinking that the second of these options is more likely.

Kiku... this is a stupid idea.

But it may be the best one you have ever had.

As long as I simply think of myself as a person rather than a country, this process will be much easier.

If Ludwig-san hates me, then soon so will all the others. They are more on his side than on mine.

I know where the pills are.

And I know how many to take to stop myself from ever waking up again.


	9. June 20th

I woke up in the hospital on the afternoon of 15th of this month. They kept me there for a little while and since then, I have been forced to go to therapy.

They say that I am depressed.

But I haven't been depressed since sometime after I awoke in the hospital...

Beside my bed was a man. His blonde hair covered his red, crying face. He had obviously been there all night. He looked a mess and I could hear his sobs and his quiet, deep voice saying something. It sounded like he was praying.

I wanted to reach over and touch him, but I was unsure of how he would react. I didn't know if he was crying for me or if it was for some other reason. So I simply stared at him through almost blank, blurry, eyes. My head was aching terribly and my stomach was in even more pain than that.

I wondered if I was actually alive...

I had taken enough medication to die... but it had become a slow process. Much slower and more painful than I could have imagined.

As I watched the poor blonde man cry, I started to remember what had happened. The pills. The pains. Collapsing to the floor in my bathroom. My sight becoming fuzzy and almost non-existent.

And I remembered him. He had come to my home for some reason. He called my name and I didn't respond. My body was already convulsing from the overdose.

What kind of medication had I taken?

Oh yes... a little bit of everything I had.

Anyway...

I remember hearing his voice call my name a few more times, a little more worried each time he yelled for me.

Then his footsteps up the stairs and to my room. Then into the bathroom connected to my room... this is where he found me.

I cried quietly when I saw his expression. He was horrified. Terrified. Shocked.

But what caught my attention most was... the tears running down his cheeks.

The way his blue eyes seemed to be pools of deep, sorrowful, water.

And I thought for a second that maybe, these tears were for me.

His arms wrapped around me protectively in the next moment and I could hear his sobs. His strong arms felt almost limp as he held me close. The last thing I remember from that night was his promise, "Don't worry, liebe, I'm here. And I'm not going to let you go. I won't let you die.". Then another painful convulsion started and I blacked out until the next afternoon.

As I finished this memory, almost certain that it was completely true, he looked up from his place beside my hospital bed.

It was obvious he had been crying, but as soon as he looked at me, his eyes lit up. I think that it was a smile that appeared across his trembling lips. He put a hand out towards my face, as though checking to make sure that I was real. When I touched his fingers with mine, he almost jumped.

We interlocked our fingers, both sets of them shaking into each others grasp. He held my hand tightly as his eyes began to water again.

"I-I thought you had left me, liebe. I-I thought that you were..." He never did finish that sentence.

I tried to speak, but I couldn't. My throat was sore and my body still felt as though it belonged to somebody else. It had taken all the willpower I had just to reach out and lock my fingers with his.

So I simply smiled at him as gently as I could. I knew that I was starting to cry also and I tried not to.

A few moments later, another person entered the room...

"Doitsu! Doitsu! I brought you some food~!" Feliciano's voice was childish as always.

My mood immediately changed when I remembered why I had wanted to kill myself. My mind flashed back to times of the pair before me holding hands and smiling lovingly at each other.

With this thought, my heart dropped and so did my hand. My fingers no longer locked with Ludwig-san's. It wasn't on purpose, but it happened. It could easily be blamed on how weak I was at this point.

Ludwig looked at me, then at his now empty hand. When he looked back up, I was looking away. I hoped that they would think I had fallen asleep.

"Kiku?" Ludwig stood up and hovered over me, trying to look at my face. I covered my head with the pillow and wished silently for them to both leave me. I think that I fell asleep after a little while. I was still so very tired.

My eyes stayed closed, even as the pillow was gently removed. But they didn't stay closed for long.

I felt soft lips against mine and my eyes opened almost instantly. Ludwig-san was still hovering over me, but he was partially on the bed beside me, one hand gently touching my thigh, the other near my head, holding himself up as he kissed me.

My first reaction was to pull away. My face turned a violent shade of red and Ludwig stared at me as though I did something wrong.

"Are you okay? Did I do something?" He asked. His deep, commanding voice always clutched at my throat. I still couldn't speak well, so I stared at him, wide eyed and a little nervous."Feliciano-kun is gone, if that matters." He whispered lying behind me, resting his head against my shoulder and neck, kissing there occasionally. I let out a small, surprised, noise... a squeal, perhaps?... as he kissed my neck again and again. I could feel his tears running down to my collarbone before following a path back to the bed.

We just lied there like this for what seemed to be eternity. The best eternity I could have ever imagined. I sighed quietly when I heard him whisper small "I love you"'s into my ear. His stomach and chest pressed tightly to my back as he held me as close as I thought possible. I could feel his breathing, calm but shaky.

Maybe he had wanted this as much as I did...

But nothing else mattered in that moment... all I knew right then was him. The way his skin felt soft but rough against my own. The way he smelled of beer and sweat, a familiar, intoxicating, combination. The way his voice held me captive, and I was sure that if I had been lying facing him, his sky eyes would have captured me too.

All that I cared about right then was him. He was finally mine again, even though I knew it would end soon.

I cried again, almost too hard. Ludwig kissed my head and neck gently, a lovely contrast to his strong body.

"Ich liebe dich, Kiku. I'll never let you leave me again."


	10. June 30th

Again, I'm sitting beside Ludwig in my bed. He's not under the blankets this time, it's much too hot for that right now. We didn't do things tonight, and I'm surprisingly happy about that.

I'm not saying this because the sex isn't good... that is definitely not the reason.

No, I'm saying this because instead of sex, we watched a movie while cuddling on the couch. Quite honestly, I don't even remember what movie we watched... I was too busy trying to calm down my heart beat and my breathing.

I'm still nervous when I'm with him.

He thinks it's cute.

The times that we bond over simple things are what I had longed for since our relationship started. It meant that it wasn't about sex... it was about something more than that.

I love when we walk together and he tries to hold my hand. Normally I'm hesitant at first, but I give in. I can't help it. I would do just about anything for him.

My heart is beating fast just thinking about him.

I look down at the German man sleeping comfortably beside me, and I want to kiss him, but I'm a little too shy and I don't wish to wake him.

Another sigh escapes my lips and he rolls over, now facing the wall.

Perhaps I should lie down and sleep. It's already 3 in the morning...

But I can't really sleep right now, I'm too...

Ecstatic?

Happy?

In love.

I think that I'll try, again, to fall asleep... soon, anyway.

He has turned back over to look at me, now. His eyes are hardly open, but they're gentle.

"Ich liebe dich, Kiku." He sits up and wraps his arms tightly around me.

My favorite of all feelings. His warm embrace.

His soft lips against my blushing cheeks can do nothing less than make my heart stop for a moment as I melt into him. His scent is intoxicating.

He says it's time that I sleep.

His fingers touch the top of my laptop as he starts to close it slowly, waiting for me to finish this line.


End file.
